OK, so we’re halfway
through January and after carefully refusing to craft New Years resolutions
this year, I am now in a position to feel comprehensive, free-floating guilt
about vast numbers of resolutions that I could have made but didn’t, and which
I’m not keeping.
Hence, I am the perfect
person to give you, without further ado, the 5 worst New Years resolutions
for writers.
1.) I will write X number of words / pages /
chapters / pieces of stunning flash fiction / short stories / novels per day.
Sure you will.
2.) I will win a local award / a state award / a
national award / an international award / the Nobel Peace Prize / a commendation
from God that he reaches through the clouds and pins on my chest while others
gasp in wonder.
All right, so maybe you'll get one or two of these. But
it still won’t be the commendation that God reaches through the clouds and pins
on your chest while others gasp in wonder. Deal with it.
3.) I will not be distracted by the glories of
the internet.
Where are you reading
this again?
4.) I will not be distracted by Downton Abbey.
Okay, what happened last
week? Ha! I knew you knew.
5.) I will not give way to the sedentary aspects
of the writing life, but will achieve fame, fortune, and artistic oneness with
the universe while maintaining a healthful lifestyle and living, basically, on
my treadmill.
Are you reading this
from your treadmill? Sure you are.
Happy New Year!
You mean I *won't* win the Nobel Prize? Oh, was it the Nibble Prize? I think I got that.
ReplyDeleteAnd I was honorable mention in the chocolate chip ice cream division.
DeleteWho faxed you my resolution list?
ReplyDeleteNot telling, but until you join my highly educational blog, I will continue to pillage your stuff. Not a threat, just saying...
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