Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Addicted to Television

There is nothing like the winter holiday season, a time of warmth, fellowship, good friends, and spiritual uplift, to remind a person (that would be me) of how addicted she is to television.

I do have an ever so slim excuse for this addiction. One of my kids is a budding cinematographer and we get to sit around and marvel about the gorgeousness of the lighting of Mad Men and the gloriously well-shot Modern Family.

Unfortunately, this excuse is, how would you put it, a complete crock.

There is nothing educational, bonding-with-kid promoting, or pretty about me slamming around the family room, panting and throwing lovely, down-stuffed decorative pillows against the wall and screaming, “What do you mean Revenge isn’t back yet?” “Where the hell is Good Wife?”

And reassuring myself that I’m not actually that far gone -- at least I’m not hyperventilating in the absence of Survivor 17, Stranded in Waukegan, Illinois -- isn’t doing all that great a job of calming me down.

I mean, I’ve heard Laurie Halse Anderson’s inspirational talk about finding time to write, dedication, and commitment.

And so I ask myself, if not for my blood lust and inability to turn away from Emily Thorne wreaking havoc with all those evil, rich people with, btw, spectacular houses in the Hamptons, would my WIP that is due in 28 days be, say, finished? If not for The Good Wife, would I now be an expert on the folklore of the Sephardic diaspora?

Never mind that the answer to these questions is, No, I would be playing Scramble on my cell phone.

Does this mean I have to turn in my credentials as a literary type? Probably not. Last month my critique group of well-published doyennes of kidlit spent a good long time discussing Castle.


  1. No advice, just empathy.
    And also this: you seem to be attached (better word than 'addicted,' isn't it?) to story-telling, and most of what you mentioned, even if it uses the lowly media of television, IS story-telling.

  2. I'm glad to hear from a fellow television addict that I can still be considered a literary type. I've tried to swear off of T.V. but we live in a small house and all I need to hear are the first few lines in the opening scene of Once Upon a Time, Nakita, Merlin, NCIS, or Terra Nova and I abandon the writing project that means so much to me. And it does. Mean so much to me. But *deep sigh* so do my shows.

  3. I would like to sound high and mighty, snort, I actually do not own a television that works except for viewing DVDs. This said, it actually is very easy to watch my favorite shows on the computer. Talk about a way to cop out of writing and make it look like you are busy. Just switch to the internet and watch that favorite show. And when I visit people who have TV - I take it over and watch the trashiest shows I can like a deprived addict. However I must say I do only have around five shows that I watch on the internet and commercials are very short! For the most part I am television show illiterate.

  4. Funny post. I go on Netflix splurges - we actually don't have TV - but I am a complete Twitter addict.

  5. I appreciate all the advice and commiseration! In fact, I'm delighted with it, because I'm in a very good mood as Emily Thorne is once again sticking it to extremely well-dressed bad guys, and I just watched her do it.

  6. OMG! I am such a addict. Revenge is definitely my guilty pleasure. I watch on hulu when no one is home so I can throughly enjoy it in peace and quiet. I can hardly wait for the next episode.

  7. KSP -- I would tell you how happy I was when Emily came back and everyone wore such inappropriate yet wonderful clothes to the clambake, but I'd lose all credibility as a serious person, so I won't.