So, doing a modified #NaNoWriMo seemed like a pretty good idea. Not actually doing NaNo, mind you. But the idea of having 30,000 pristine (as in unedited, un-reread, and very likely dreadful) words in hand on Nov. 30 was pretty damned appealing.
This being Nov. 8th, that would make me 8,000 words behind. Give or take.
And given my goal of being the last writer standing after wiping out everybody else with my spectacularly bad advice, here are the top 5 reasons you shouldn't be writing either.
1.) Social networking is vital to your survival as a writer. Even years prior to publication, you need to be building a platform assiduously by tweeting, posting on Facebook, documenting the minutia of your every breathing moment via embarrassing selfies, pinning*, embracing Tumblr, and blogging at least every 2.5 minutes. Conservatively.
2.) Social media has to be interactive. How can you be expected to engage with others every 2.5 minutes if you aren't spending the other 2.499999 minutes perusing all of their tweets, Facebook posts, embarrassing selfies, pins and edifying blogs?
3.) All writers need fun facts. How dirty your hair is and how peculiarly earthy you smell due to the fact that you are Nanoing obsessively does not count as a fun fact. How the hell are you going to be amusing on panels with a life devoid of fun facts? Obviously, you need to learn to do magic tricks and fly a single engine plane after making said plane out of papier mache and refurbished vacuum cleaner parts in your basement.
4.) Assuming you are writing YA -- if not, just ignore everything I say; I have no interest in destroying your career -- you need to have your plane-making fingers on the pulse of popular culture. Even the most super-duper NaNo playlist is a woefully insufficient connection to life outside your NaNo chamber. You must go to movies, clubs, 4-H club meetings and the mall. Immediately.
5.) You need new shoes.
*Oh no, another footnote: Yes, I'm pinning. You should immediately go spend several hours admiring my many really nice pins and follow all of my boards. Repeatedly. This would be highly interactive of you.
Phew, good. I've got all those reasons.
ReplyDelete#sinistercackle... Note the #hashtag. Another really #goodreason you have no time is that you have to run around the internet inserting #hashtags all over the damned place for #noapparentreason.
DeleteI've yet to write anything approaching that many words in one month. But I hope to get a LOT done in November. Um, I often worry about point #3. I don't have enough airplane-building and the like going on.
ReplyDeleteDear Marcia, Good heavens, stop listening to me! You write middle grade; the world needs more excellent middle grade. It's just all those other pesky YA writers I wish to mislead. xo, Ann
DeleteHmmph. I build vacuums in my spare time in between blogging every 2.5 minutes. I don't appreciate you tearing up my vacuums to make your paper-mache airplanes. If I see you out at the mall, on you way to go see a movie w/your 4-H club you better watch out b/c I just bought new running shoes.
ReplyDeleteHmmph to you too. (Although kudos on vacuum-building when you could otherwise be writing up a storm.) My advice is for you to start acquiring spike-heeled, strappy kinds of shoes as not only do they take longer to pick out and provide more gratifying distraction, but they'll make it a whole lot harder for you to chase me down at the mall.
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ReplyDeleteHA! Great Post! I won't lie - social media is a beast and completely gets in the way of me writing. I'm not doing Nano this year (did the craziness once and that's enough) but it is a commitment. One that social media will eat into if you let it.
ReplyDeleteI'm beginning to think that social media will eat into practically anything if you let it. And unless you're writing with pen and paper on a desert island with no wifi, how do you not let it?
DeleteI think my social media addiction is under control, except for my Pinteresting. Oh, God, the pins, the pins, the shiny pins!
ReplyDeleteFunny article. :-)
I seem to be able to mostly avoid Pinterest, but this could just be the realization that possibly two other people are viewing my pins. Which I admit to being somewhat fond of.
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